Have you ever wanted to something so bad?
Then one day your wish finally came true..
You were happy as ever and went right along with it.
So much time has passed when you realize that you want to go back.
It's too late now though, you're left depressed, sad, and lonely...
How will I ever go back? When will I be able to?
Why did this have to happen? Why don't I have a choice?
This is my life, isn't it?
The shower seems to be the key place where I find out things about myself..
When I cry I spend that time in the bathroom..
I want go back, scratch that, need to go back.
It's my only hope. Otherwise I'll spend the rest of my days in misery wondering what could have been.

Today

Things have been changing. Rapidly. I've moved countries. Changed schools. Lost friends. Gained ones. I've matured. Got my haircut completely different than I ever would have. Died my hair. Lost my braces. Too much of a story to tell. Things have been so hectic I haven't had time to blog. But I will try to find the time to...

Today's a new day
For happiness, for sunshine.
To catch each laugh as it floats by...
We change and the things around us change
but we stay true to ourselves and live on.
I may have moved far away from where I'd always been,
but this new place its more home than the last.
I feel the inspiriation pouring in,
I want to burst out into song!!!
But no lyrics. A new chapter is starting in my life.
My story has yet to be written.
No love. No loss.
But i do start to feel more and more every day.
My love is growing for a new friend...
I start to hear chords in my head.
Its not a song, but its a start!
So my love will keep growing, the chords will start flowing
and i will be singing with most joy ive felt in years

I Dream..

I Dream of a day when people will listen,
A day when everyone will open their hearts.
I Dream of a day when all is forgiven,
A day when nothing else matters.
But if when that day comes, you aren't there...
There will be nothing. No hope of resolution.
Although I've never known you, the real you,
It seems I need you in my life.
You've never been there, or acted like you cared,
But it doesn't matter.
I'd like to feel that I had someone there.
To teach me, to care for me, to protect me...
But you never cared enough ask me who I was,
You don't know me.
I tried to know you, but you wouldn't let me.
Do you feel my pain?
I need a Father who is there.
One who doesn't criticize,
One who isn't hypocritical in every way.
Just like you need a daughter.
Who isn't half way across the world.
One who doesn't hate you for what you did.
I'm sorry.
Sorry that I can't forgive you.
You hurt my family.
In ways more than one.
Sins.
Although I don't believe in that,
It's still immoral.
And you did not make up for them.
But I will try to love you,
After all you are still my father.
I needed you in my life.
Here is your chance.
Don't fight it,
I need this more than anything,
And it's your only chance to watch me grow.
Take this opportunity,
And my dream will come true.



DayDreamer

Just Cry

Just Cry.
Let it all out, its okay.
The Heartbreak can only last so long.
Love must always come to an end,
whether by Death or Coercion.
All I have to do is tell myself:
"It's gonna be alright"
But closing one door opens new ones.
A new Love is waiting for me,
Where? I have no idea!
But I will find it and hold on tight.
I had hoped it would last,
Nothing would get in the way,
But something did,
Something I couldn't stop.
So as long as I try,
I can get through this,
Just like last time,
I'll be okay.
Just cry.
Cry my heart out.
For the last time...